Happy belated Mother’s Day, Moms! We also want to acknowledge that Maternal Mental Health Awareness week was last week. In our last posting, Signs of Anxiety in Kids and Teens Can Go Unnoticed or Can Be Misinterpreted, we touched on signs of anxiety we see in kids and teens. This week we wanted to discuss how as parents we can be more reactive than responsive at times, and how we can calm our own nervous systems, which can help to regulate and support our children. Imagine the following scene: After a stressful day, our children ask for a snack after school, need help finding the “correct” soccer shorts, or call out asking for help on homework. If our stress level is already high, we may have our own escalation towards the next person who calls our name. That is our nervous system feeling overwhelmed and overstimulated. We will react to the situation with all emotion and no logic. In turn, this chaos in our brains and our children’s / teen’s brains are now the entire family's concern- we reacted. Now, let’s imagine the same situation. This time, as the parent, we take a step back mentally (and possibly physically), we take three deep breaths, we ground ourselves with a quick sensory exercise and we use affirmations such as, “I am overwhelmed and I can do this.” “I am feeling stressed and I will get through this.” “I have my own emotions and I will have a moment to myself, eventually,” - we responded. Brené Brown, PhD, LMSW, stated in The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting: Raising Children with Courage, Compassion, and Connection, "Imperfect parenting moments turn into gifts.” As we continue to think about what is best for our children and teens, let’s take a moment for a deep breath and remind ourselves that being a parent does not mean perfection. It does mean that we are trying our best for our children everyday, and some days we need to take a break too. This break is not only for our own mental well being, it also generates room for the “responding parent.” We often say in our own sessions, “how can we parent with intent?” If we can take a moment for ourselves, calm our own nervous systems, respond to our kids versus reacting, we can create steps to build a more peaceful home. Brown, B. (2013). The gifts of imperfect parenting: Raising children with courage, compassion, and connection [Audio CD].